Mother of All Evils

Mother's Day is just a couple of days away and here I sit in my office with my youngest daughter. For the past two days, she has accompanied me here at work and it has been a sheer joy. I have her at work because she needs a close eye kept on her after a nasty bump on her head that she got at preschool, but she has been a real trooper. It is pretty fortunate that I have a job where I can take time off for any of the four kids when they need me.

Enough of the bragging and on to the real post. My goal is to be the best parent I possibly can. Pretty normal statement huh? Most people would make that same statement, but how many people really act on that? It it easy to say that you put your children first, actually doing it and not putting your own wants in front of that are all together different things. Do I think I always do the right thing? No, I don't and I haven't, because I am human. None of us are infallible. If you say that you haven't ever made a mistake as a parent then you are a flat out liar. If you don't have any regrets regarding your parenting choices then you are are blinded by your own foolish self-righteousness. It is perfectly healthy to have the consciousness to question decisions and to evaluate the situation as a whole, perhaps noting things that were positive and places to improve. That is what growth is all about. If you deny yourself the right to question yourself, you deny yourself the ability to grow as a parent. This isn't to say that we should run around doubting ourselves, because that certainly is counter-productive. It is saying that we should all afford ourselves as parents the ability to critically analyze and improve our judgments.

It's no secret by now that I didn't have a great or even good childhood. My parents divorced when I was 4, which was about the best thing that happened in my early childhood. They weren't happy and what I do remember from that time, they were completely unhappy as a couple and that spilled over into other areas of their lives. Both of my parents were drug addicts. My dad ended up being a convicted felon and is still looking at traveling that route at 63 years old. (some people just don't learn) My mom attempted suicide when I was 3 and spent a good portion of 6 months in a coma and another 6 months going through various surgeries. She ended up with brain injury and I ultimately ended up raising her. I spent time in foster care because neither of my parents could function as parents. I did vow to never put any of my children through those situations. I don't  begrudge them my childhood, I have became a very strong woman.

I live by example, both positive and negative. Being a responsible parent for me includes taking notice of all that goes on around me and being humble enough to ask for advice where I need it. Thank you to all of you who have helped make me into the mom I am. Thank you for your example, thank you for caring about my children and me, thank you for being good parents in your own lives. Thank you for your mistakes and being honest about them so that we can all learn and grow. Happy Mother's Day to you all!