Forgive me some as I am definitely not done learning this lesson about frustration. I have accelerated straight into pissed off. I think that's regression, right? Getting this out will not make me any less angry, but it will help me think through it a bit. Any of my 5 readers are most welcome to give me some perspective with the thought process.
I held on to a fortune for quite some time that I got in a cookie. The words on it seemed very poignant and I would like to share them with you (all 5 of you). 'The cost of something is what you are willing to give up for it'. Just focus on that thought for a moment and then go back to reading, skimming, glancing or whatever looky thing you do at these poorly put together words. Look at the thought, now look at my blog, back to the thought, back to my blog...I'm riding a horse. Sorry a little levity and bad bodywash commercial later, we are back to being serious. Pretty astute concept.
When the latest half-cobbled together lie was surfaced (ok, I went looking and I am a really, really, really good detective) I experienced a few emotions: sadness, anger, guilt, shock, sorrow just to highlight some. I am not mad that I was lied to, that part was just stupid. What really made me furious was the other people that were lied to for the gain of a good time and how badly it is going to hurt them/has already hurt them. Good times have their place and there are plenty of ways to find them. That makes it all a matter of perspective as to what a good time is.
This isn't some high and mighty soapbox where I am going claim innocence on all levels. We have all made bad choices, we have all been selfish. The difference here is that it has been plainly pointed out the hurt that is being dealt out for nothing more than the sake of being completely drunk. Which brings me back to the fortune cookie. That thought, that idea that there is a person(s) affecting many other people in my life over booze and popularity is sickening. How is it that a buzz and surface popularity is worth more than self-respect or the love of those that care about you?! How are good times better than a sense of security? Booze and tattoos have more value than memories with your children?
Maybe I have grown old, maybe it's actual maturity (poop and fart jokes not to be held into consideration for the maturity) but I am finding the things that are not tangible have the greatest worth. So I am not going out spending money as fast as I earn it (yeah, that job thing that makes security is kind of popular with me) I find quiet walks with the MC far more enjoyable than nights out with friends getting drunk. Taking pictures of sunsets is better than having my pic taken being seen somewhere. Talking with a friend helping each other figure out life is far more rewarding than posting on facebook where we are going to watch a band or troll for singles. The most priceless and valuable of all, the time we spend with our kids doing the simple things like feeding ducks or playing in the yard. There somethings that shouldn't be bartered for or traded. I have chosen my price point. What is your cost?
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