Intimidation Nation

I have heard over the years more than a few times that I am intimidating. Part of the intimidation factor with me is physically obvious. For any possible readers that have not met me in person, let me explain: I am just shy of 6 feet tall, my shoulders have the approximate size of a linebacker's (farm work will do that to you), my thighs are pure muscle from sports and spin class - let's just say I am not thin and frail. My posture is not shrinking either. Most often you will find me in heels (so I end up being about 6'4) and that makes me stand straight and with my tushy slightly out. From what I have been told, I have a 'strut' as well. The physical part I get - I am a giant.

What seems to be more intimidating than my physical size is my body language and attitude. Eye contact. This is something that a lot of people seem uncomfortable with. There is nothing that says someone is paying attention like eye contact. Why should it cause someone to be nervous that you are actually listening to what they are saying? Maybe it's because a lot of bull shit is coming out of their mouth, maybe it's because they are unsure about the person's reaction who they are talking to...Who knows? This shouldn't be a sign of intimidation, it should be a sign of respect.

Then there is the overall demeanor. Rest assured that I will be courteous enough to be direct with you. Sugar-coating, BSing and beating around the bush simply aren't practices that I engage in. Those are all ways of telling someone that you don't respect them enough to give them honesty and truth. That doesn't mean that I am allowed to be crass or offensive in order to convey my thoughts or emotions. It means telling someone your truth plain and simple. It is up to the receiver what to do with that truth.

Logic. Oh....this one is a doozie for most people. I use logic - like a really lot. Logic can't explain everything, because let's be honest some people just don't know how to employ the use of this at all. I am not overly emotional, it's just not in my make-up. I choose that. I choose not to get bent out of shape and worked up so much that I can't think straight. I choose not to be ruled by emotion, rather I rule my own emotions. Once you let logic go and act on emotion alone, you are getting yourself into a great area of risk. There is value in emotion, that is not up for debate here. Logic is what I base decisions off of, because that is what makes sense. A result derived from information - novel idea huh?

So this leads me to a few questions for thought before I end this bloggity-blog for the day...Should size intimidate someone else? Not really. Unless you intend on starting or provoking violence, this shouldn't even be a concern. Why is lying to someone less scary than the truth? The answer to this is that most people do not want to deal with it. It is much easier for someone to give us a fluff piece answer than it is to be accountable, responsible and deal with the situation at hand. Great...so you have some warm fuzzies, but that mess is going to come crashing down like a ton of bricks when someone else finally forces you into reality. Why is logic so frightening and frustrating? People don't take time to think and analyze before acting. Spontaneity is great when you want a road trip or picnic, but it is no way to run your life.

Don't be afraid to say what you think. Being confident shouldn't be intimidating. If you have an issue with this, then you need to reassess what it is that you are fearful of. Is your argument or statement strong enough, or is it just emotional blubbering BS? Do you lack the faith in yourself to make the right decision? Are you unsure of the other person/people's reaction? Don't be...that is theirs to deal with (mind your own business, remember)

So warm fuzzy lovey hugs and stuff...