A Day That Will Live in Infamy

It's no secret by now that I HATE the time around my birthday. It is unarguably the worst time of the year for me. We are all set to this idea that birthdays are some magical time of year when we get what we want and everything is perfect and right with the world. WRONG! That is the grown up version of a princess complex. Believe me, there are no such delusions of grandeur here. I am one of those fiercely independent types and I out and out refuse to lean on people or ask them for anything. I don't want pity, handouts, sympathy or anything else along those lines. Those are qualities that I find downright repulsive and pathetic. All that said, I am one of the most appreciative people I know. There is nothing like a small show support to warm me and garner a heartfelt "thank you".
Over the years, I have either separated myself from family or they have chosen to part with me. I am, after all, the white sheep of the family. I choose not to engage in hate, blatant drug abuse, alcoholism and shunning due to differing opinions. What I do choose is to love from a safe distance. Yes, my family has heaped a lot of hurt on me, but that does not reduce the love that I have. It does increase the sadness and despair. Who doesn't want their family to be loving and accepting? It is perfectly natural to protect yourself as well. Protection is taking precedent over direct interaction. So here I am on my birthday, with no family to even so much as care. You know what? I choose not to let it attack at me the way it has in other years. No tears, minimal sadness, chin up cheer up and push through it kind of attitude today.
That line about a heartfelt thank you...that is for those that choose me. There are people in my life who truly mean that they are happy I was born on this day and I am exactly who I am. This is a lesson that is difficult to learn, but such a wonderful reward when we realize how incredible we must be for people to choose us that don't have to. We do not choose our family, we are born into it. We DO choose our friends and they choose us.  That is so valuable that I can't even begin to explain the welling up it causes. A few months ago, I sat with a friend who was having family trouble and she was distraught that they do not make time for her. She felt unwanted and misunderstood. That couldn't have been further from the truth. I placed my hand on her heart and told her that I choose her to be my friend, family and in my life. I value her so much and all the others who I choose and choose me.
Today I would like to thank all the amazing people that choose to be in my life and that choose to let me be in theirs. My MC has made great strides and changes this past year to show me that he chooses me and his family who treats me as one of their own. My friends have supported me emotionally and helped me through my changes as well. My children who have openly chosen me to be their primary source of love and care. This is a true and heartfelt thank you and showing of gratitude. I love you all so much!