This Friday was an interesting and hard one for the MC and I. Having my hair cut off due to health issues that are causing my hair to fall out was quite hard to swallow. Fortunately my cosmetologist is a wonderful and loving sister/friend of mine who is quite talented. The hugs from her and the children, along with the reassurance and support from the MC made this painstaking measure much more bearable.
I often find myself regressing during times like these (this one was no exception). It is difficult for me to accept things as they are sometimes. For some reason, there is this great desire to want to change things that I have no control over. I end up blaming myself and searching for any reason to be upset with myself, like if I find bad in me it is like these things are more deserved. Trying to beat the odds, I put on my polka dot dress, gussied myself up and convinced myself that everything was going to be a-ok. Fake it 'til you make it, right? I am still not thrilled that I had to get my hair cut off or the reason, but the end result was better than expected. Diana, did an amazing job with all of our hair! It was wildly successful and we left the salon - 3 hours later, in great spirits.
Finally, we came to having dinner. Normally this would not be an event to talk about much at all, but this was no average dinner. The food was decent enough and the establishment was your average Mexican fare. What was truly harrowing was how we survived the patrons of the establishment. It was all 6 of us (The MC, his daughter, my 3 children and myself). As we walk in, who was sitting there but my ex-husband and his friend for the evening.
I said I wouldn't be doing a bunch of trash talking on the ex, so this is slightly out of place. I found it uncomfortable that they placed us directly across from my ex and that he was there with some new, random, trashy looking woman. What he wants to do in his personal life is his business. What bothers me is that his personal life takes priority of the children's stability. Here was a time when they were forced to look at the stark difference between the two of us. We (the MC and I) are very dedicated to each other, to stability in all of our lives and for betterment of all of us. To save the trash talking, it will suffice to say that is not the goal of my ex. My children are preparing themselves to come live with us this winter and blatant displays of the weekend partying like this one scare me. We are left wondering what kind of weekends they will have with him if the partying doesn't slow down.
The other highlight of the night was a woman whom the MC had a friendship/flirtation with once upon a time. She became intrusive and was making attempts to not only undermine our relationship, but to be destructive to his already hurting family. She has gotten desperate enough to try to attack at us through a close personal friend, prying for information and playing the "woe is me" card. The MC has asked her to not contact him any more on a couple of occasions and still she persisted. She has never been willing to ask me about it or confront me about it. She is a passive-aggressive sort, so the encounter on Friday night was not much to speak of. She passed by our table without a word, but made direct eye-contact with both of us. She gave me a smirk as if to acknowledge that I knew she was still lurking. Then she stood at a table adjacent to us, talking loudly about the night of drinking to come. She didn't get what she wanted out of the encounter - we didn't argue or fight, not so much as a disagreement. What she did get was an audible chuckle out of both of us and a simultaneous eye roll. We wended up having a long talk on the ride home about how happy we are to be together and how well we are persevering despite the attempts by others to make us fail.
We have done our very best to project ourselves in a positive light to all others. We even try to project ourselves postively to each other (except when I slip up during times when I am not so sure of myself). This power of positive projection puts up this invisible defense shield that has made our relationship a fortress of solitude. For all those looking to tear us down...you shall not pass.
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