Today sparked something in me. I read back over some semi-private correspondence that I had with the MC over the course of our unfolding relationship. It was almost 2 years ago that we seriously encountered each other. There were daily musings, thoughts, shares and mutual growth that occurred over the course of the first 8 months. In those communications, we almost instantly realized that we were meant to be. There was an expression of who we were individually and as a pair. The resounding statement was that we were going to be in a long-standing and loving relationship - one that provided appreciation, encouragement, growth and an overall fostering for the betterment of our lives. We wished this. The more we wished it, the more evident it became that it was occurring. Our situation was minor in the grand scheme of the universe. The joining of two people is ordinary enough. Despite what odds we were put up against (there is far more than I will ever relay to any of you, it's not all mine to share, nor would I like to share all of it) we managed to believe ourselves into being.
When I set out to write today, a mutual friend of ours left a quote on my FB page: Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are usually right - Henry Ford
Yup, that pretty much sums it up. We can either achieve down to or up to what we want to be. We tell ourselves who we are. If we are merely content with existing, then that is all we will do. Who among us is going to seek out more than they desire? That simply doesn't happen. We have to make exception for what we want to be. The goal must be worth the effort.
How many people have said they were a victim of circumstance? A product of society? Here is where I call bullshit. My impoverished childhood has been lightly chronicled in earlier posts, so I am not going to continue to beat that drum. I will say that no one expected much of me. Why would they? Most children that are homeless, poverty stricken, sent to foster care are not likely to achieve. People are far more willing to hand out pity rather than encouragement. As a race, that is something we need to consider changing, in my opinion. The value of understanding and encouragement is immeasurable. For all intensive purposes, I had been given up on and cast away. Have I mentioned before how stubborn I am? There was no way I was willing to settle for what had been predetermined for me. Mine was a life not lived yet, no reason to sign it away before I had reviewed the contract.
Pity is disgusting to me. Whenever someone says, "you poor thing" to someone it is like saying that there was nothing they could have done to change the situation, no other choices or actions they could have made. Sure, there are times when that is the appropriate response: the loss of a loved one or other similar situations where we had no direct action other than our reaction. We have to be culpable for our actions and thoughts. We have to learn not play victim to our lives. EVERYONE is handed hardship in someway in their life. It is a matter of how we deal with that hardship. If you say you want more, then really do something about it. Words alone are never enough. Those words must form ideas and move into actions if we are ever to achieve.
Encouragement and understanding are the greatest gifts I have ever received. Those didn't come about until I was into my 30s. I had to get myself far enough in life to be surrounded by people who believed in me. That is not something that goes without acknowledgement. There isn't enough ways to say thank you for that. Watching someone I care for succeed is a great joy. They don't have to be huge public successes either. Sometimes seeing a friend realize something important in their life is an accomplishment, a child who has been struggling to tie their shoes pull that final loop through, watching someone overcome their stage fright, seeing someone's business grow. Believe in yourself and believe in each other. Nothing is more damning than telling someone they can't - that includes yourself.
If I was the giving up type, I would have died a dozen years ago when my illness first struck me. I remember doctors telling me with frightened faces that I was dying and they didn't know what else they could do. I wasn't about to give up then when life seemed the most bleak. I sure as hell am not ready to give up now. Sure, I have to live with this bullshit disease that makes things difficult sometimes, but that is no reason to resign myself to dying (I did that once and almost succeeded) Maybe it's too many feel good sports stories that have ingrained into my annals. Maybe I have a problem with seeing the best in people even when cynicism tells me otherwise. Maybe it's this stubbornness. There have been so many people in my life I am proud to have seen succeed in life and I will continue to want a piece of that success for myself, not because I deserve it (we all know how I feel about entitlement) but because I earned it. We can only earn what we work for and desire. Seeing is believing and I can see us far down the road. Stop telling yourself that it is too hard or the choices are too difficult to make. Stagnation gets us nowhere.If you want more, then be more.
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