Where did I leave off? Oh yeah...
So are you interested in hearing all the possible diagnosis that has been laid out there and what they have actually determined? In the past month I have been given some disgusting, confusing and some downright frightening possibilities. Most of these have been ruled out: Let's get all of the C word ones out of there first - Colon Cancer, Pancreatic Cancer, Ovarian Cancer (surprise! I still have just one of my ovaries) Ovarian cysts, Polycycstic Kidney Disease, Ulcerative Collitis, Crohn's Disease, a parasitic infection (gross and thankfully I do not have that) Polyps, hital hernia, lymphadema, stomach ulcers, irritable bowel syndrome, hepatitis, pancreatitis flare up, fatty liver syndrome, acid reflux, blood clots, hemorrhoids, Barrett's esophagus.
I would honestly be so much happier if they would just say that they don't know because the test results aren't back or there is additional testing to be done. I don't like the waiting game, but the what ifs and researching are just making it worse. What has been established/confirmed: I have a hital hernia - uncomfortable and irritating, but not the biggest of my issues. There will be a surgery sometime for it, but it isn't a priority. I have precancerous cells in the polyps that were removed. Basically that means that I get colonoscopies more frequent and younger to keep an eye on it. I have internal hemorrhoids. My spleen is swollen (cause yet to be determined) My liver is swollen and enzymes are high, also cause yet to be determined. My platelets are low, cause yet to be determined. There is thinning in my colon. There is a mass the size of a tennis ball in my abdomen that is much larger than an ovary. Malnutrition and dehydration from being unable to retain food.
The amount of money we have had throw at this so far is crippling to our finances. Doctor visits, copays, prescriptions and time off of work are just a few of the major factors. *enormous sigh and lots of tears* We are robbing Peter to pay Paul at this point because we are trying to do it all on our own. Could we ask those around us for help and get it, yes, but that isn't who we really are.We have 6 people in our house to feed, clothe, pay utilities for and keep a roof over. (Don't even get me started on the money that is currently being taken from us under fraudulent pretense) Did I mention also putting gas in our vehicles to get to work? That is more than any family can handle. I won't even lie to you folks, there are times that no matter how sick I am and how awful I feel, I will not eat so that our children can. We are stuck in the same situation that so many others are in. We have jobs and insurance. We make enough to not get assistance, but not enough to be able to cover the costs of the medical issues. We are caught in a tough spot. Get medical treatment or provide for my family. The choice shouldn't have to be made by anyone. None of us should be forced to chose between being healthy and putting food on the table for our kids. None of us should feel like we have to sacrifice ourselves so that our family could survive.
Here is the real kicker - one of the office visits was enough to make me (possibly the world's most stubborn woman) want to throw in the towel. I left dejected, humiliated and angry. I won't get into the whole ordeal here, because even though I received awful service my goal is not to point fingers at others for wrong doing. That is something that I will address personally with the facility. Eventually, I got over all of the emotion of it and sucked it up. I didn't return to that office, I asked to be referred elsewhere. For a brief moment I felt bad for that. When I asked for a referral to a different office from my regular doctor so that I didn't have to see that specialist again I was asked why I needed the referral. At first I thought, "What does it matter? I asked not to be sent back to that office anymore because I wasn't happy with their service". I still think that. They pretty much got the same answer as my thoughts though minus the "Why does it matter". Shocker huh? I told they I as not just unhappy with the way the doctor in that office treated me, but the receptionist and the nurse as well. I did not want to see anyone in that office and I would like to be sent elsewhere. Then (I guess this is some protocol thing) I was asked if I was uncomfortable being seen by anyone other than my regular doctor. Nope, just get me in somewhere else with competent and reasonably professional staff.
Back to my question about why I felt bad and why I was questioned on wanting to change to a different specialist. The medical industry is a service based industry. Go ahead and try to get around calling it that, that is what it is plain and simple. Probably the most important service based industry outside of our government. We don't hesitate to take our money elsewhere and find someone else to provide a service when they don't perform in other arenas, so why is it so with the medical industry? If you send you car to the mechanic and they can't fix your car or figure it out, you take your vehicle elsewhere. If you get awful service in a restaurant you don't go back there. Not every doctor, nurse or medical facility is equally qualified. They aren't all on the same level of performance. Not everyone graduates at the top of their class, not everyone has the same demeanor, not everyone has the same aptitude. Yet we are led to believe that this the case. Why in the world would I pay my insurance company and the facility to be treated poorly and not have the problem that I was referred for attended to? Yeah...not about to pay to be treated like shit, not enough of a masochist for that.
The problem is this damn God Complex they all get. Guess what? If you work in the medical industry you aren't god and you aren't any better than anybody else. I have plenty of friends and even my adopted mom works in the medical industry. They aren't God either. And as consumers, we need to stop treating them like they are. That's right folks - we are all culpable for this. Sorry to burst your bubble, but every time we allow ourselves service than less than what is reasonable to expect and don't speak up - we all lose. I am not saying that medical professionals are not allowed mistakes, bad days and what have you - rather I am saying the antithesis. Treat them like they are a human, just like you. They have a tough job, no doubt about it. If they are a person that you don't care for the way they treat you or the service they give, go elsewhere. Chances are that it isn't going to be the right fit and you aren't going to get proper treatment if you are dreading going in there to begin with. If I am not comfortable with someone I certainly am not going to disclose everything and most likely will be so distracted that I forget to include vital information. That is unfair to them too. What doctor wants to deal with some rambling dipshit that isn't focused on why they are there? Be accountable for your care, don't hold them accountable. If you aren't happy - go somewhere else. Communicate without emotion when you can so that they can concentrate on your words, rather than your personality. Stop expecting them to be god for you, that is an unfair standard to hold them to. They can treat us, but they can never fix us.
So for today, have some patience for your patients. Patients, have some patience for your doctor.
Be well ~ Andrea
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