I am not a Christian, if you are that doesn't make you right or wrong. That I am not does not make me right or wrong. We can all be good to one another despite our religious beliefs.
Everyone knows that has ever laid eyes on this blog that I am divorced. Some even know that surprisingly enough my ex and I have become friends. This wasn't always the case - obviously we divorced for a reason. Now both of us seem to have the proper focus and that is the ultimate well being of our children. That sort of common ground has made it much easier for us to make decisions, arrange schedules and co parent our 3 children.
The reason for this post is not a joyous one at all (well, depending on your point of view it could be) My eldest daughter recently went to sing at a nursing home with her choir class for Christmas. She was nervous and didn't know what to expect there. We had a talk about nursing homes and the sad reality that many of those people who cared for others have all but been abandoned at the nursing home. People's lives get busy, they forget about taking the time to visit, all of their family might be gone, they have been placed in a home far away from their loved ones due to their medical needs...etc. I encouraged her to talk to the residents, to help make them smile. She took a lot home that day, I was deeply proud of the young woman that she is becoming.
The following night, my ex arrived to pick up the kids for their weekend visit. We had been talking about his two grandmothers being in the same nursing home and the different medical problems they were having. I asked him to do something, something not for myself - something for others whom I cared about. I asked him to take the children and visit his two grandmothers in the nursing home over the Christmas holiday. One of his grandmothers in her 90s and the other in her 80s, they are getting up there and it felt pressing and important that the children see them. He nodded and agreed, said he had been thinking about it and planning on it. That Christmas day, two elderly women got to spend time with a grandson and three of their great grand children. He got to give them the gift of joy for Christmas. So the tangibility on that one isn't great (often tangible things don't hold the greatest value any way ;)
Two days ago, my daughter sadly told me that the oldest of her two great grandmothers had been taken to the hospital and that it didn't look good. This morning, my ex texted me to tell me she had passed. There is a sadness for someone who has experienced a loss. My sympathies go out to the family, to my former family, to my children and the father of my children.
I was glad that I butted my nose in where some might say it didn't belong. I was glad that my ex and I were able to talk about the importance of not forgetting our elders and show our children the value of the urgency of life. My children and their father got the opportunity to spend one last Christmas with her, they will always have that. They will always know that good that they did that day for those two women. It is sometimes very laborious to put others before ourselves, this was not at all the case. I asked my daughter to make sure she called her father tonight. If she is to become a kind, caring and loving woman - it is up to me to give her an example of that.
Don't forget those who have already gone before us, they are those who trodded the path so it is easier for us to travel. If youi have family in a nursing home...go see them. It might make their day and yours too.
Andrea
